Since then I've found myself wondering what precisely happens when The X Factor, through luck more than deliberation I imagine, actually finds itself with a talented winner. Then of course there was that rather brilliant moment when Gary Barlow rather brilliantly owned Simon on the X Factor finale last year by basically accusing him of lumbering the winner of these shows with a bunch of third-rate castoffs for their albums and warning him that if he did that to Leona, he'd be sending the boys round (presumably not Take That, although that would've been brilliant). Anybody know where we can find any songs that weren't originally turned down by Westlife."Įxec 3: "Shall I call Simon? He might know somebody."
They might throw stones at us."Įxec 1: "Can't we fix it for that annoying swing kid to win?"Įxec 2: "Wouldn't that look like a bit of an obvious sabotage, though?"Įxec 1: "Gah, we're screwed. She might never be in the bottom two at this rate."Įxec 2: "Anyone got a video of this girl?Įxec 1: "What the hell are we supposed to do with HER?"Įxec 2: "If we trot out another Westlife covers album and record her vocals in a toolshed the weekend before Christmas like we usually do, people are going to be cross. She's actually doing really well in the votes. She can actually sing like Christina or Whitney while still being connecting with the emotional heart of a song in a way that makes it more than just a two-bit karaoke version, and people seem to like her."Įxec 1: "Yes, but she won't win, will she? We always get rid of the good ones in week four by pitting them against a one-armed puppy-juggler singing 'How Much Is That Doggy In The Window?' in the showdown, and they always lose."Įxec 3: "But that's just it. Exec 3: "Um, guys? I don't want to worry anyone, but there's this girl called Leona and she's actually quite good.
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